She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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