If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
