marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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