i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
