he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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