When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
