Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
