My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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