I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
