if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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