Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
