She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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