so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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