In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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