Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
