I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
