Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
