Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
