Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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