I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
