Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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