You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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