we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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