There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
