I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
