Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
