I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
