This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
