i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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