Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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