i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
