I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
