Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
