she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
