It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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