had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Randomize
