I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
