So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
