but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
