OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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