Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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