thus making me awesome and them whores
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
