i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
