I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
