I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
