Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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