I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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