This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Your dad touched me again.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
