apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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