she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
